Time to explore forms of communication.
First, make a list of five forms of communication. Bonus points for outdated or awkward forms of long distance communication. Examples: letters, postcards, answering machines, smoke signals.
Next, make a list of characters, mythological beings or historical figures. People who's character traits are clearly defined for you, or with whom you are fairly familiar. Examples: John Wayne (wa-ha), Charlie Chaplin, the Minotaur, Holden Caufield, Batman, Chiron the boatman.
Finally, make a list of people with whom you want absolutely nothing to do with... examples: the ex-, your abusive parent, the teacher who flunked you out of algebra 2, the cop who wrote you the speeding ticket last night.
Take the three with the most creative friction and write it up. Use the inherent language/idiom of the form of communication whenever/however you can throughout the poem.
See this postcard by Bruce W. Niedt as an example.