27/30: New from Ronco...!

You may not know you know Ronco, but you do.  Inventors of such fabulous products as Hair In a Can, Pocket Fisherman and the trio of Chop O Matic, Dial O Matic and Veg O Matic.  Yes, those guys.  Kings of late night advertising.

Create a product.  The less plausible, the better.  Pocket librarian.  Vag O Matic.  Spray Meat.  Friend In a Can.  Emoto Matic.  Win O Matic.

Whatever.

Write a poem either advertising your product, your experience (good or bad) with the product, or from the point of view of the product itself (or maybe somebody working in the factory making them).

Bonus points for the more you can make a person question whether or not this is a real product they could buy.